Beyond Judgement and Separation

‘’When you judge another person, you do not define him or her;
you define yourself.’’
Wayne Dyer

For a very large part of my life I, like so many others I’m sure, have felt judged; every major life choice I have ever made came gifted with some form of criticism, with some form of judgement which often led me to ask myself ‘’Am I really so different from those who choose to criticise me?’’

To judge another does not only draw distinctions by making comparisons; to judge another carries with it a moral judgement of right or wrong, of good or bad and makes use of words such as ‘should and shouldn’t, responsible and irresponsible. Judgement says, “If I were you, I wouldn’t have done what you did.”

As far as the ego is concerned, the part of our false-self believes that there is power in judgement. The ego self has many of us believe that the more we judge another, the more power we have over that person; the ego equates power and judgement with strength and control but in essence, judgement only serves to create separation.

This separation of ‘me’ from ‘you’, ‘us’ from them” keeps us chained to the blind and false ego mind. The ancient wisdom of Buddha teaches us that one of the sources of suffering in this world is our failure to remember that we are all one. This brings to mind a quote I recently read:


Putting oneself in another’s shoes is the essence of compassion. It says, you and I are one; we are the same being looking out at the physical world through a different lens. Have you ever had a moment of understanding? One of those moments in which you understand where another person is coming from? A moment when all of a sudden you inhabit that person’s world and everything they have done or are doing makes sense? An understanding of the experience of being that person? It is with this understanding that we can grow in our spiritual path and practice compassion.

When you next interact with people, either today or tomorrow, make an effort to pay attention to your perceptions of them. What are you seeing? Who are you seeing? Make a mental note of that, then set it aside and remind yourself that you are looking into the eyes of God/the Universe/Higher Consciousness, of Love itself. You are essentially looking at a version of yourself,

And next time you find yourself tempted to criticise or judge another, bring that person into yourself and see them for who and what they truly are –a divine being of light navigating through the storms of this physical life trying to do the best they can with the tools and resources available to them.

I leave you this week with a poem from my favourite Sufi Mystic which has helped me as I continue my journey on the spiritual path accepting my own and others’ judgements:

‘’Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing,
there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase
each other
doesn’t make any sense.’’

With much love and light

Patrizia x


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