Forgiveness truly is one of the most empowering gifts we can give ourselves and the world. Replacing the anger, the hatred, the resentment and the bitterness with acceptance and ultimately love, offers us transformational healing at the deepest level.
‘’Fill your soul with love, rather than anger
and so many things will change in your life.
None of us need revenge, but we all need love.
It is all we really have to give away.’’
– Wayne Dyer
Holding on to negative feelings weakens you at your very core and keeps you imprisoned in your intense pain, holding you back from living an abundant life filled with love and happiness. Grudges, resentments and grievances are the chains that constrict and exhaust the very essence of your being and keep your heart firmly locked in shackles of pain. Many believe that forgiving means forgetting and therefore are confronted with resistance; forgiveness doesn’t mean you forget the wrongdoing, the abuse, the trauma suffered at the hands of the wrongdoer. Forgiveness is not condoning the behaviour of someone who hurt you and it certainly doesn’t mean that you have to continue to have a relationship with that person. Forgiveness isn’t about hiding what happened or burying it deep underground. True forgiveness means you become the heroine/hero in your story instead of the victim.
I became the heroine of my own story when I was finally able to forgive the man who abused me and left me with so much pain in my heart, the man who stripped me of my own self-worth, the man who crushed and shattered my hopes and dreams of love, laughter and of life. The journey to forgiveness was not an easy feat by any stretch of the imagination, but over time I put in the much needed deep, inner work which gradually led me onto the path to freedom and inner peace.
The art of forgiveness frees you from the low vibrational energy thoughts that weaken you and keep you trapped in the past, allowing you to reclaim your power and live a full life. I have discovered that true forgiveness is a gift that you give to yourself and to others; not only does it release you from the negative emotions of anger and resentment, true forgiveness offers you the gift of empathy, compassion and understanding toward the person who hurt you.
My Personal Journey to Forgiveness in 4 steps
- Find your voice – by voicing your truth you let go of the story that has kept you hostage and in so doing, feelings and emotions that have been deeply buried within you are released.
- Inner child work – Talk to and nurture your inner child; empathise with that hurt little girl or boy but let them know that the past is a story that you can choose to continue holding on to or you can choose to put an end to.
- Focus on the here and now – Recognise that what happened lives in the past and the past has no place, no power to dictate your present or your future. If you feel upset about something that happened in the past, recognise that what’s distressing you today are the feelings, thoughts and physical reactions you’re having right now about something that belongs in the past.
- Ask yourself if you are willing to forgive. Are you willing to forgive yourself and the person who hurt you? By refusing or resisting to forgive you build an impenetrable wall that causes bitterness, isolation and stagnation.
Forgiveness has the power to stop the disintegration of relationships; relationships between families, relationships between friends and relationships between nations. This is why it is so essential. The transformative healing power of forgiveness is an essential ingredient in our spiritual growth and in our journey to awakening; it is a key element in opening and setting your heart free.
‘’The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world’’
– Marianne Williamson
With much love and light